What A Week Before Your Wedding Feels Like: Part II

Anxiety. Stress. That’s me right now before the wedding. And you know what’s sad? Everything for the most part has gone swimmingly!

I’ve had some drama here and there, but I think what stresses me out us just how much it has to take over.

My family, friends and fiancé have been great. I’m incredibly thankful for their support.

I think this week in particular hit me because it doesn’t feel like it’s here. I think that’s mostly because for the last couple years I’ve taken vacations in September. But it also doesn’t feel like my wedding is next week.

Hence some stress. It’s all down to the wire. I can’t sleep, my body is out if whack and I know it’s all anxiety.

I know I shouldn’t be stressed or think about the small things. But they all matter. Sure they might not feel like it when it’s all said and done. It all matters though.

I think that’s why I feel so exhausted. It’s almost here. All this planning for one day that’ll come and go.

What’s more important is us. We’re both kicking ourselves for not going to the JP. We aren’t having an enormous ceremony but it had to be more than originally planned. I love everyone coming but it’s really supposed to be ours. I let that get away, but I’m sure I’ll be thankful later.

Just in interim I think about. All of it. It’s crazy.

What A Week Before Your Wedding Feels Like

My wedding is about a week away. I wanted to blog through it, but when you get married, all your free time is on wedding stuff or getting through normal day to day. Perhaps there are things we should’ve had done at this point… But either way, here I am.

People ask if I’m nervous, excited, ready, etc.

You know, I don’t know how I feel. I’ve had so many things to do, I feel like I have to get through those. I think about the whole experience and my fiancé and I are kind of kicking ourselves for giving in to doing things we preferred not to. Now that we’re a week away I can tell we’re both stressed about it.

We just booked our honeymoon and the two of us are really looking forward to it. Sometimes we wish we could skip ahead, but we know the party will be fun.

Maybe I’m nervous about the time leading up to the event.

We spend our night alone. Then get up, get ready and then have time to get rid of just waiting. Then it starts and everyone cries. I don’t know why it weirds me out. I suppose it’s because I’m not the most emotional person. It takes a lot for me.

Really sometimes I wish the wedding was just us. But then people’s feelings get involved and something I do care about (a lot) are people’s feelings. That really matters. Because even though we are kicking ourselves for not just going to the justice of the peace, I think seeing my parents, his parents, etc. hurt in the long run would make me feel awful. It’s just 30 minutes. Probably less.

Crazy, all that money for 15-30 minutes.

That’s all weddings are. But someone reminded me you’re paying for memories.

Indeed you are. Here’s to expensive memories.

T-Minus One Month

In a month from today I’m going to be on my way to a hotel to spend my last night “single,” although even though that’s what you put on legal documentation, I haven’t been “single” for the last nine years. I’ve been with my wonderful fiancé. I really wanted to blog about the whole experience and I find that I’ve blogged about what’s stressing me out. And then, I got so busy, I haven’t had time at all to just sit, think and express my thoughts.

Well, I think some power up above wanted to let me know I needed to relax hence giving me a very not-fun sinus issue that started when I woke up yesterday. Then I took medicine I shouldn’t have that made it worse, so needless to say I haven’t done a single thing or have really thought about the wedding.

I keep saying “better now than a month from now,” but maybe this was for a reason. While I feel pretty awful, it was good to just relax.

And now I’m blogging.

I think what I’m stressed about the most is the little things. Just making sure we’ve dotted our i’s, crossed our t’s and most of all money really makes me cringe. I’ve always been really responsible with my money and in all of this wedding planning, I’ve definitely spent more than I ever have. I know it will all be okay, it’s just about getting there.

The “unknown” is very scary to me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need to know every detail and plan everything little thing. (I was in catering, I learned quickly NOTHING goes as expected). But at the same time, I like to at least know how things may play out. Over the next month, I don’t know. I just know in the next 31 days, I’m going to finish up all these details, shell out even more money and in a month from tomorrow be a married girl.

It’s funny, all these jitters have nothing to do with being married. I’m excited to join in with my fiancé. I think where a lot of this stems is I have issues with people doing things for me and all eyes being on me. Honestly, some of my biggest “ah” moments are my bridal shower, walking down the aisle with my dad, or when my fiancé and I walk out to the introduction at our ceremony.

One of my biggest goals with the reception was to create not just a memorable experience for me, but for my guests. People always said, “it’s your wedding, do what you want.” I want people to be happy and have a great time. That’s what makes me happy.

Although I’m definitely doing things that I never planned to, and feel obligated to do other things. Things that I feel if I didn’t do it would deeply hurt people close to me. So I suppose I’ll just have anxiety over it until it’s over. Anxiety. That’s the word. That’s how I’ve been feeling. Anxious.

I met up with an old boss and friend, and she asked me if I was excited. Sure, I am, but I’m also incredibly nervous about the whole “how am I going to get from point A to point B” thing. I also told her about some of the things I felt obligated to do.

She reassured me and said, “If you were excited and not nervous, then you’d have something wrong. That’s how you’re supposed to feel right now.”

That validated a lot for me. I feel bad when people ask me about the wedding I always come back with something that I have to do. Because really, I am excited. People are going to be there that I haven’t seen in years. Then I’ll have my close friends by my side, as well as my family. And most important of all, my fiancé.

So here’s to getting through the next month in one piece. I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to lose weight, finish arrangements, buy things, make small plans, etc. I’m going to still try, but I think this quick bug was a good reminder that it’s not worth being overly stressed about. I need to start enjoying this more, it’ll be one of the biggest days of my life.

What Jitters Feel Like

My wedding is six weeks out, or maybe it’s five. Either way, I’m feeling nerves and stress constantly. It’s like whenever my mind is clear, those pop up. And the nerves have nothing to do with him, it’s about everything that has to get done before then. We still have so much to do, so much money to spend and it’s scary. The feeling of “will this all get done?” “Will money become an issue?”

I know it will, I just don’t don’t know how. And I don’t really know how to knock these jitters either. I just wish we could take a day and get it all done. But I feel sometimes even a small task can take days.

I haven’t set any expectations for the day of. I’ve done event planning, so I’m well aware nothing goes as expected. I have  one things that I’ll need to go perfectly, but the rest I know will just be great. I know it will all be great. It’s just getting there and dealing with all the in between.

The Things You Experience Engaged

The entire engagement period is getting prepared. You have to pick and choose vendors to help your day be special. It’s a 50/50 chance those vendors or people you work with along the way are legit.

Most of my vendors are local, which has made many things go so much more smoother, or have saved me money. Then I’ve experienced things that haven’t been so great. It’s hit or miss.

It’s crazy how you go through this once, well, are supposed to, and should hit the nail on the head and get everything right. Well you don’t. You have all these things to do that you didn’t really know about until you got engaged. You’re setting yourself up for some kind of failure.

What I have found is going with local companies saves you a lot of hassle. For instance, I got my wedding dress at a consignment store. My mom wanted me to go there and I didn’t want to. It ended up being the first and only place I went to. I tried on about five dresses but I ended up choosing the second one I tried on. The first was actually a joke dress. Also, the dress I bought had never been worn anyway, despite being in a consignment shop. Even better, I got a dress that probably would have retailed for $1,000, plus my petticoat and alterations for $350. Plus, the person who made my alterations is coming to put me in the dress that day. No charge. Just because that’s what he does.

I got my flowers next door to my dress, and it was only $250 for bouquets, boutonnieres, etc. People probably spend $1,000 for what I’m paying. Plus the people have been super nice and down to earth. I feel like they care. I got a bridesmaids dress at a big box store and the service was terrible. Just outright terrible.

Then we got my fiancé’s tuxes at the same place we got my dress. Funny, her prices are $100 less than the big box stores. Also, we got them with five weeks to go. I asked her if that was too late. Her response? “Not at all! Really I just need a couple weeks, but I’ve even got them the Tuesday before a Friday event.” Try that at some of the nationwide places. You’re lucky at six to eight weeks.

Our photographer is a close friend of mine, so I know exactly what I’m getting and wouldn’t choose different.

So those are the things I feel really great about. There are other things I haven’t felt so great about. I guess you learn. Hopefully you won’t have a second-go-around and you just learn to help others. My advice? Look local.