Chapter 2.

I seem to use my blog for life changes or give advice. I’m a fixer. If I find something that helps me, or I enjoy, I like to share that with the world.

When I got married, I took over this blog to share the reality of planning a wedding. The good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing.

I find myself at a next turn, one that I feel I want to be honest and share the ride with you. I know I’m going to have to fill some voids and what better way than doing something I enjoy… writing and helping.

I’m in for a real journey… I probably don’t quite realize it yet. I know it’s not going to be fun but well worth it and almost excited.

I’m gonna lose the weight this time. I’m done.

For the last 12 years or so, it’s been a struggle to lose weight. I’d have the motivation, lose some here or there, then it’d come back. Go away, then come back.

As time has gone on, the more knowledge I acquired on how to lose weight and be healthy. What foods agreed with me, what didn’t. What exercise I enjoyed, and what was a struggle.

I’ve learned about my food allergies and sensitives. I learned I have asthma, which gets worse when my heart rate goes up. I’ve done Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, Noom, Whole 30 – and a plethora of other fads.

I know there’s no “quick fix,” and if something says it is, it’s not. I’ve taken the weight loss pills, the drinks, the supplements. My primary care doctor had even prescribed me phentermine, which definitely helped me not be hungry, but it was during extremely stressful points in my life, so I think the phentermine helped me not gain weight.

And the older I get and the more I fail. I feel like a failure. Especially when I think I know what to do. It’s like I’m overthinking it. I have to do everything perfect all the time. But yet I end up back in the same place.

I decided I was done.

I also knew that whenever I had to make changes for health reasons, per a doctor’s instructions, I did it without fail.

When I found out I was allergic to peanuts? Cut it out. When I had an infection in my eye, I didn’t wear contacts, or eye makeup, for two months.

Having the answers or at least someone with the expertise makes it that much easier.

So I just started looking to see if there were doctors or nutritionists that could help me find what worked for me. Because after more than a decade of trying, I was clearly only making things worse.

After browsing, I realized there was someone in my same health network that specialized in weight loss.

I knew this was it.

I quickly requested an appointment, filled out my paperwork and watched videos the required for new patients.

Each person has a plan tailored to them, but ultimately it’s low calories to get your body into ketosis.

My first appointment was completing a test that helps them see how many calories I naturally burn, and then the next one was meeting with the doctor.

I felt like I knew I was in the right place.

She was honest and straightforward, you could tell she isn’t messing around and accepts patients that agree to take this seriously.

But she also said something I hadn’t heard anyone say before – that she treats being overweight as any other medical condition. It’s not something that people can flip a switch and change. There are a lot of factors into one’s weight, including genetics and mental health.

It’s a lifelong battle and in many cases, medication is needed to stay on path.

She asked how I felt about medicines and explained if it works for a person to take one medication daily to keep them healthy, then that’s better than all the medications needed for Type 2 diabetes or other ailments stemming from their weight.

I was okay with the medication path.

We talked through food and my relationship with it. I definitely am an emotional eater. And I’m also a very anxious person.

She also normally would have required me to do lab work, but I had actually just had a full set of labs done in December, so she was set.

From there, she told me the game plan – that my next appointment would be a check-in with her, followed by a one-hour class with a nutritionist. That’s when I would start the plan.

She also gave me some homework and provided me a list of medications to research, as well as check insurance coverage.

In our next meeting, we would discuss my findings and what I was interested in.

She had also told me I needed to up my sleep each night, not to worry about exercise right now and to cut down on drinking.

After researching the list of medications, I was interested in Contrave. From the reviews, it sounded like the first two weeks were hellish, but after that, extremely helpful at changing one’s mindset.

During our next follow-up, I let her know Contrave was my choice.

She agreed that it would be a good fit for me, and I appreciate her allowing me to have input.

I learned more about the medication and that I couldn’t drink at all with it. In fact I had to read over paperwork and sign an agreement that I read it and understood what I could and couldn’t do.

I’m sure no drinking alone will help me lose.

She was more stern this second meeting – and really meant no drinking and changes would be made. She also gave me fair warning that we were getting ready to rip the bandaid off. The first couple weeks of the plan won’t be fun.

I’ll be hangry, irritable and adjusting.

She told me to just keep busy, go to bed if I’m tempted late at night and to just stick with it. It was going to be hard at first, but after that first few weeks, it’s better and is not as hard.

So here’s where I sit. In two days, I meet with the nutritionist and get this next phase of my life started.

I know I’ll be successful this time. But it won’t be fun. It’ll be hard not having a drink if out with people or not worrying about what I’m eating. (And I’m sure the nausea from the medicine plus not drinking will make people think I’m pregnant, which I was specifically told not to do while on this medication).

I’m so glad to have the help. Help that isn’t an app or someone trying to make a buck. Over the years, there’s been so much clutter. I now can’t make sense of what path I need to take. I try to do everything at once. I feel like I have to do it all, and do it all right now.

I am glad that I don’t. I’m taking a step.

Here we go, chapter 2.

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