Dear Food

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Dear Food,

Welp, we’ve had a great run. You were good to me up until I was about 20. Then everything went downhill and I’ve spent almost every day of my 20s trying to get to a place I’m happy with. That is 10 years of my life going up and down.

I’m tired. I think it’s time we took a break.

It’s both you, and me.

For starters, I need you to survive. So, there’s that. But I enjoy you!

My entire life, good memories were always food-related. I associate food and drinks to comfort to this day. When I was younger, it didn’t matter. That changes the older we get. It gets harder. Really hard.

I’m sick of being unhappy.

Ordering pizza because I don’t feel like cooking isn’t worth it. The extra drink I know I shouldn’t drink isn’t worth it. That trip to Starbucks to get something filled with sugar…isn’t worth it.

What will be worth it is happiness and a good balance with you.

When I was 18 I found out I was allergic to peanuts and potatoes. Realizing they made me feel a way I didn’t want to feel, I cut them out. It made it super easy. There was a medical reason for this and I felt better without them in my life.

I’m going to have to figure this same concept out when it comes to unhealthy versions of you. Medically, I just can’t eat crap or not watch every little thing I put in my mouth.

When I do well, I feel better. When I do bad, I feel like crap.

It’s been a vicious cycle and I’m ready for it to end.

It will be my mission to make this time the last time. It won’t be easy. I’ll have to combat this forever. I definitely need to continue to work on perception. I’m just about there, now I need to successfully execute.

That day I reach goal will feel better than any donut, beer, piece of pizza or cookie ever could. I know I can find happiness with other things. I did when I cut out peanuts and potatoes, so I know I can do that for more. It just takes work.

I’m ready to get started and put in 110%. I’ve been putting in effort for what feels like forever, but I always going up and down. I know what works for me. I need to just follow it. I’m going to have to say no more. Not let peer pressure get the best of me. Sweat more at the gym. Find other sources of comfort. I just have to flipping do it.

So until then, we’ll just have to go on a break. I’ve got some things to think about and some goals to hit. I’ll be back and things will be better than ever because I’ll be happy. My happiness will be my birthday present to myself.

Here goes.

This is a little different than what I normally do. I wanted to get something out in the universe for accountability. Feel free to check in on me and hold me accountable! Also, share your journey below. Would love to hear your stories. 

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