It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye.

I won’t forget when my husband (then boyfriend) said he wanted to move downtown. It’s always been my dream to live in the city and I never thought he’d be into it.

I love the hustle and bustle, even though our downtown isn’t as busy as many other metropolitan cities. Something about all the people around makes me feel at ease.

I know, strange.

Most people love being in open fields, far into the peaceful countryside, listening to the crickets chirp and an open sky full of stars.

Me? I love being surrounded by buildings. I love being able to walk everywhere. I love people around. I love the different lifestyle that isn’t in the suburbs (nothing is wrong with the ‘burbs though!). It’s just my personal preference.

city living

And I really won’t forget the first time we stepped foot into this apartment. We had seen a few units in the building but when we walked into this one, we just knew we had to live here. The living room is enough to stop you in your tracks.

It’s funny, when we were deciding between this unit and another, I said I would be happy eating ramen noodles and never going out to live here. Note to self if I ever say that again… don’t do that.

city livingBut we picked it. We just had to. We’d never seen anything like it and we knew we could make it work. You walk in and the view just takes your breath away. While it’s the size of a normal house, the layout has the living room taking up most of the space. It’s 20′ x 20′. It’s so open. It felt so good.

Unfortunately when we moved in, it wasn’t rainbows and butterflies. At all. They did a terrible job cleaning and painting it, and while at one point said they would replace the carpet, they didn’t. And weren’t going to.

It was a nightmare and I cried the day we moved in thinking we’d made a huge mistake. In front of the leasing agent and then the building manager. I couldn’t keep it together. This was one of our first big purchases together and it was a mess. They fixed it some but to this day it still has major flaws that you don’t see really until you live here. (Hence why we didn’t realize them when they showed it us).

I describe this apartment as the crazy girlfriend. The good is good and the bad is bad. It’s a love hate relationship. Love more than hate for sure.

This is the first place that’s felt like “home” to me. I mean of course my parent’s house will always be home, but a home that I invested money into. This was our first place we got together. Despite the flaws, I absolutely love what we did with it. It feels like us. It very much feels like home.

It’s funny, it’s uncommon here to live downtown. We were constantly dodging questions when we moved like “How long are you planning on staying before you move back?” “How much do you pay?” “Do you have to pay to park? How much is it?” “What about when you have kids?” Funny, there are plenty of couples in the building with kids. Even more around the city with them. It’s okay. Really. And really with the questions about how much we pay? Really? Oh well. It is what it is.

city livingAnyway, our downtown really isn’t busy during the week. I wish it was busier actually. Traffic is a breeze a majority of the time, no issues at all. And being in the heart of the city, you can get to any side of town in like 15 to 20 minutes. It’s awesome. I went to our southside the other day to run some errands and was in traffic for so long. What a waste of time.

Anyway, we’ll be saying goodbye to this apartment soon though. In two weeks actually. We are moving into another unit in the building so we can save to buy something eventually.

Sadly… for the first time in over two and a half years…. it doesn’t feel like home anymore. I started cleaning earlier and part of me is like “what’s the point? This isn’t ours anymore.” It’s been making me sad and as I sit here at my bar top drinking a beer all by myself which I normally enjoy… it just feels different. Even through all the drama that’s happened here. I love it.

We’ve had such great memories with friends, family and eachother here.

I’ll miss my cozy bedroom with a strange but awesome window that looks out into the living room and into the city. I’ll miss hearing the rain coming through the pipes that make it sound like a relaxing waterfall. I’ll miss this grand living room that’s perfect for entertaining that we didn’t do enough of.

I’ll also miss having two bathrooms. God I’ll miss having two bathrooms. I grew up in a one bathroom house and there isn’t a really good way to put it other than it sucks. Granted it will just be two of us, not four. Still. I’ve been spoiled for a few years with two bathrooms.

And my cat is going to lose it, I know she will. She’ll have a long hallway to run down but it’s broken up by stairs. (She greets me every day by running down the hallway because she’s excited to see me…or maybe because she knows I’ll give her treats).

city living

We also lived here when we got married. I said I wanted to get married, throw a fun party and stumble my drunk ass home, and you bet that’s what we did.

We’re doing the right thing though. The new place is great. It will never be this though. Nothing ever will be this.

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