When Dexter threw Deb into the water and sailed off into the sea then became a miserable lumberjack I had this huge pit in my stomach of anger and sadness. When Jesse lived in Breaking Bad and Walter White ended up ending everything for himself, I was a mess–but Jesse did live. When House and Wilson rode off into the sunset on their motorcycles, I was melancholy because it was over.
Okay…maybe I’m being a little dramatic.
I get emotionally invested into shows. I’m not the biggest TV watcher on the planet, but my husband and I definitely get invested in television.
That being said….
I have tried to give up on this show multiple times but ironically my husband won’t let me. From the many people that have suffered by the wrath of Shonda Rhimes, or the relationships that have ended, it’s been too much. Never has a writer grabbed my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. After all she killed Mr. Feeney. FEENEY!
If you’re a Grey’s watcher, Mark and Lexi was big for me. I was ready to be done with the show then. But he kept me going.
And then last night happened.
I was expecting something dramatic all day, as there was all of the hype on the inter webs…many of which by ABC themselves.
I’ve been aware Patrick Dempsey was ready to leave the show and hadn’t signed a long term contract, but just one for two years.
I’ve also been aware he’s been on Shonda’s shit list for being a “diva.” (Pardon my French).
And then she killed Derek Shepherd probably 45 minutes into the episode.
I felt like it was just an awful way to end it. She (yes, I’ll say all her) had him hit by a truck in such a irresponsible way reaching for his phone while stopped in the middle of the road. I feel like Derek wouldn’t do that, he’s too smart to do that, especially after saving two cars of people from a serious car accident.
Then if that wasn’t bad enough, he was brought to a hospital that seemed like such a dump with one of the doctors messing up, and a neurosurgeon being an hour and 20 minutes late while on call, and that killed him.
“I’m going to die because these people aren’t properly trained” he said as he narrated his own death (of course).
And then that was it.
The police picked up Meredith late at night. She brings her two young children to the hospital and has to tell the doctors everything after they have her sit down to sign the papers to take him off life support.
I thought maybe he was going to take one last breath that brought him back or Meredith was going to think of something to save him when “Chasing Cars” starts playing.
The acoustic version.
The version that means Shonda Rhimes is basically going to take your heart out of your chest, stab it, stomp on it and shred it into pieces. And then stomp on it some more. With middle fingers in the air. Laughing.
Mer (yeah, Mer) takes him off life support after telling the doctor to wait so she can tell him he can go. Oh, without a great montage of all of the big moments of their relationship.
And with that, Derek Shepherd is gone.
I’m fine if he wanted to leave. Patrick Dempsey. It’s been 10 years, I can understand wanting a new gig, spend time with his children or whatever he wants to do with his time.
BUT THIS WAY? It just was too cold.
I know, I’m probably going overboard. But I’ve been on this train for probably nine years. That’s a long time. I’m emotionally invested. And I think it’s time I get off this roller coaster because I just can’t handle the wrath of Shonda anymore.
RIP Derek Shepherd.