The Struggle Will Be Always

As I get older and continue to work to get my body in the shape I want it to be, I really wonder if this will be a life long struggle? Or maybe looking on the positive side, a life long effort?

Even when I get my body where I want it, it will be always be work to keep it there. And when I’m in times where I wish I could be better, like right now, it will be so much work to meet my goals.

I’d love to know what it’s like to have a crazy good metabolism, because I love to eat.

I’m just constantly working, even when I’m not, it’s on my mind. I can’t ever go without tracking my food or working out. And when I do, I can feel it. The way I fit in my clothes.

I wish there was an easier way, for everyone. I know there are people that work so much harder than I do, and I wish it could be easier for us all.

One day. Until then, here’s to working hard to meet our goals.

My Honda Civic

In December I took my 2006 Honda Civic in to my local Honda dealership after receiving a letter about a recall. As it turned out, the issue could have been fixed for free, so to kill some time we walked around the lot.

I had been kicking around the idea of getting something newer as my car, which I loved, was starting to have some problems. As my husband and I walked around the lot coated with a fresh layer of snow and ice everywhere, a very friendly and non-intrusive man came up to us just to introduce himself. I explained while we were there, he smiled and began to walk away. I told him I had absolutely no money to put down that day, and didn’t raise my payment too much, if my car (that was currently in the shop) would work as a trade, I’d be interested that day. He smiled and explained he thought we could definitely figure out something.

He asked what I would want in a car, and for me, my 2006 Honda Civic (coupe) was an EX. I definitely wanted an EX again. EX-L (leather) would have been great, but I was completely fine with cloth. As it turned out, I could have done a lease-to-own option that turned out to be a great opportunity for me and I ended up purchasing pretty much everything I wanted.

Today, I have a Black 2013 Honda Civic EX and I absolutely love it. The only thing I didn’t like so much were the wheels, which I knew would grow on me and they have.

The car, and all Hondas, have a few features on all models, even the base models. Bluetooth capabilities and the rear back-up camera are some of my favorite features.

The bluetooth in particular is a very safe feature. I can make/take/end calls through my steering wheels. I can also change my music, skip ahead, etc. And it always picks it up so there is no connecting or re-connecting each time.

It also has a eco-feature to help the car get better gas mileage. Then on the speedometer, which is digital, it has these 3-D like bars that go from blue to green. If you are in the green you’re getting the best gas mileage and if you’re in the blue you it’s not so great.

And I love how put together the car feels. It was a brand new car and it feels so put together and safe. I absolutely love it.

It’s been a harsh winter here in Indiana and I couldn’t have got this car at a better time. It has been a freaking workhorse through some of these huge piles of snow and ice. I know my other car wouldn’t have made it through what I’ve had to drive through this winter, but the 2013 Honda Civic has been fantastic. I was worried at first if financially it was a bad decision, but now I know it was the best I’ve ever made. I love it!

Goodbye Dexter.

I have wanted to get back to my blog for awhile. Sometimes you just get really busy, you know? I have so many ideas and things I want to share. And the thing that got me fired up to sit down for a few minutes was Dexter.

Dexter Morgan has been a part of my life for about a year. Really towards the end of 2012 and on I discovered binging on TV shows and my husband and I discovered so many shows we loved such as Shameless and Homeland and I believe the beginning of 2013 was when we decided to give a show called Dexter a try.

It was dark, yet there’s something to love about the serial killer with a code to only kill murderers. Other murderers, I should say. As the year went on it really became a great show. We picked up other shows, such as Orange is the New Black and of course, Breaking Bad (which deserves a blog of it’s own). Always in the background there was Dexter. I liked having a show always there to come back to, and since we wrapped up Breaking Bad last October, we’ve really just had Dexter.

It’s crazy how these shows become a part of your day. Your life. Something to look forward to, and when you are watching them onDemand you can do a couple shows in a row. I think television is so great now. There is such good programming out there these days. I used to watch movies all the time, and now I can’t really tell you how many I’ve seen in the last few years because I’ve really started getting to attached to all these series.

So after over a year of Dexter, we finally finished it last night. The downfall to binge watching and being behind everyone is having to avoid spoilers like it’s your job. The night the finale aired I remember “accidentally” seeing the words “Dexter” and “died” in the same sentence–so this entire time in my mind I thought he died and I had come to terms with it. Then also, everyone constantly said how horrible the end was. “Don’t watch. Just give up now.”

Many said that after I got through season four, when Rita died, but I was still into it. Every season I was always into. I told myself “it doesn’t end well, don’t get attached.”

Then I also remember hearing on the radio them talking about a spinoff, and someone said something about Deb. So I had always thought maybe Dexter dies and there was something with Deb.

…so, to say the least, last night was a total surprise for both my husband and I. He’s been totally into it too, and isn’t on social media and never wanted to hear my thoughts, so he was completely in the dark.

I was shocked. Most people said they were pissed and/or disappointed with the end. For me, I’m just sad. I knew it wasn’t going to end well, so I was prepared for that. But I wasn’t prepared for Deb to die. I wasn’t prepared to see Dexter stripped down to nothing, realizing how much pain he caused and was basically the cause of his own sister’s death, therefore making her as some have said “his last victim.”

Watching him bury her at sea was pretty painful. I’m not one to cry, and I didn’t, but I really felt heartbroken. Yeah, over a show. At that point you would think he commits suicide, but as they always have twists, in the end you find that he’s basically a mountain man. No more Harry. No more voiceovers. Just a stripped down man who has left everything he loved because he can’t get attached to anyone anymore because they always get hurt.

He is a serial killer. Was it ever going to end well? Harry always told him he couldn’t juggle the two lives. Dexter did the best he could as he truly did love Deb, he loved his son (although I felt like was raised by other people), and as much as I was against her for most of the time I watched–he loved Hannah.

Well over the last year, and eight seasons, I’ve come to love Dexter. Even if there is a spin-off, it won’t be the same. It was a great year, the first show I’ve ever binged on long term. It was kind of there during a hectic year of my life, a really good way to just escape and get into something.

Chapter closed. Goodbye Dexter.