I get married in three days. Well two, I suppose, since it’s after midnight and technically Thursday. This will probably be my last time of blogging, which I wanted to do throughout this experience. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that weddings make your life busy. Maybe even busier than being a student.
I don’t really know how I feel. It’s a mix of excitement mixed with nervous. I’m anxious. All eyes are going to be on us and that’s weird to me. All these wonderful people will be at a place for us. All this work and effort over the last year will be over in a matter of hours. Of course the time between now and then will CRAWL. But come Friday at 4:45 when my alterations guru comes to put me in my dress, it’s going to fly.
I know to expect hiccups. A few people tell me not to worry. Funny, I expect it. That’s what happens when you work in catering for a few years. You know things will go wrong.
Another thing I’ve learned is weddings are all about you until someone disagrees with what you want to do. Then suddenly it becomes an issue.
It’s been quite the journey, this engagement process. It’s truly a test to your relationship with your significant other, your friends and family. Everyone reacts differently. While it’s the couple’s day, everyone else there helps make it special. Granted, I still would be okay if it were just the two of us at the JP getting married….but that’s not an option.
A lot of my anxiety has gone down. Last week I was anxious about all the things I couldn’t control. And it wasn’t an OCD or over-reactive control. It was literally things that weren’t on my to-do list and couldn’t be on my to-do list. But they needed to get done. Or just waiting on people.
I had a good talk with my cousin/made of honor tonight and she was talking to me about a text I sent on how to calm down due to anxiety. She was telling me about life as a mom with three kids and just not having time. With normal busy every day life, I can handle the most stressful of situations. I think what’s different about a wedding is how many unknowns are out there. I fear that. That’s a fault of mine. Now it’s not a complete fear. Like I said, I was in catering so I know to expect anything. But just all those little details got to last week.
Thankfully this week I’m much calmer. I’ll occasionally get a rushed feeling in my chest when I think of things I have to do or people I know I’ll see.
I don’t know why I can’t just sit back and 100% enjoy this. I will, but there is literally a three or four page schedule dedicated to my wedding. That’s insane. Three to four days? It’s true though. And it all has to get done.
Soon it’ll be my future husband and I’s trip. We’ll be relaxing drinking wine or some sort of alcoholic beverage. It will be amazing. It’s just getting there. Getting through the party. Enjoying it. Blowing off the people and their opinions. Making sure everything gets done, and not stressing over what can’t change.
That’s my advice to brides–don’t stress over things you have no control over. (Going back to catering, learned that in those days). You have to be cool calm and collected. I’vet tried to be. I do need to start making myself smile more when people ask me if I’m excited. I am. For some reason when people want to talk about it, I get that rush of anxiety and make a funny face. Every time. Maybe my goal will be to just take compliments and smile. Funny, it’s so hard for us girls. I’ll make an effort.
I will say I’m so thankful to have a wonderful fiance, friends and family. And vendors. Without them, I would have no hair 🙂 Here’s to getting married!