Back to the Grind

Last week I was thrown a curveball, I had the weirdest sickness ever. I’ve had it once before, but it was worse and was done in two days. This wasn’t fun, and while wasn’t as intense, it was like seven days long.

What was it?

It was muscle aches, like when you have the flu, only that’s it. No flu symptoms. No runny nose. No coughing. Just aches. Well and then I found out I had acid reflux last Monday, so I’m not sure if my sore throat was from my weird illness or from the AR .

TMI, I know.

But I’m saying all this because it knocked me on my butt and I just had to take a step back and do things a thing at a time. Housework didn’t get done, exercise wasn’t happening (although since joining Weight Watchers, I haven’t worked out as much as I want to/should), I didn’t see anybody and I was just a zombie. Five days. It started to get better on Saturday, but symptoms were still there. And then yesterday, it wasn’t good in the morning but as the day progressed I felt better.

Seven days!

Crazy.

So after seven days, I honestly forgot what it felt like to be “normal.” (Well, I’ve been dealing with these stupid AR symptoms worse than I ever had before for the last few weeks, so I have really forgot what normal feels like.)

Isn’t it crazy what your mind does when you’re sick?

All the hullabaloo and stress I had before I got hit with the muscle aches went away. All I focused on was how I felt and what I had to do that moment. I didn’t really stress about the next day because I was just focused on what I had to do that particular day.

Now I’m feeling okay, knock on wood and fingers crossed, and I’m already stressing about the weekend and all the to-dos. Why is it so hard to just take things a step at a time? Why does it feel as though there are so many tasks in a day and it’s hard to accomplish them?

I’ll be turning 25 soon. Maybe this is a quarter-life crisis because my life has changed and I’m still adjusting to being an adult. Can’t I have the freedom and perks of adolescence, minus…well….everything else about adolescence? I’d never go back there. But if there was a good thing about it, it was not having as many responsibilities.

I have this fear I will forget to do something. Forget about someone. Forget period.

When in reality, I never do. I set 10 thousand alarms in my phone for myself. I put a dry erase and cork board on the fridge for notes. I bought a planner calendar with stickers. Half of my bills are set up on automatic bill pay. What am I so worried about? I don’t know. I’m a planner. I like plans. So back to the grind. Maybe before turning 25, I’ll figure out how to relax. That would be a good present to myself. Relaxation.

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