Everything I Thought It Would Be

I’ve been dreaming about going to New York for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure if it’s possible to be in love with a city, especially one you hadn’t been to, but I was in love with this one. So you can only imagine the rush of emotions I felt as I was driving in two Thursdays ago while listening to Austin Renfroe’s “Taking Me Under” and JayZ’s “Empire State of Mind.”

However, by 4:30 p.m. I was a mess. I was in a huge city I wasn’t familiar with, couldn’t check-in my hotel, was outside at the beautiful 9/11 memorial (however it was raining and I didn’t have an umbrella) and I was panicked because I had to be in one piece in an hour to meet my Cosmo Girls. Somehow my boyfriend and I both managed to get everything done and be ready by 5:45, just in time to walk over to the View of the World.

Still, I was a mess, especially after getting lost and being 10 minutes late. I had pictured in my mind what it was going to be like meeting these girls I’ve been talking to. Girls that all share something with me that no one else I know has. Cosmo Radio.

We find the place and I go in the restroom to fix my hair that had blown all in my face. At that point, I was shaking and felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I walk back in the lobby and waited with Ben to be taken up to the terrace the party was on, getting more and more ancy at the couple taking their time talking to the front desk attendant.

Then suddenly I look to my left and a sea of girls is walking through the door. All my worries fell to the floor. Every single one. While keeping my eyes still turned to them, I said out loud in a quite and calm voice, “It’s them.” And what happened next I’ll keep with me always.

A sea of hugs, smiles and a sense of welcomeness. Everyone. One by one.

And as the evening progressed it all continued to happen. More hugs, lots of smiles, lots of drinks and lots of laughter.  Just when we thought our night couldn’t get any better, as Katherine (who did a wonderful job not only setting up this event but other things for the trip too) was going through plans with us and asked us questions like, “What are we doing when we leave here?” “Where are we going?” “What room?” “What are we wearing tomorrow?” “Where are we going?” “…and who are we going to go see?” And as the words, “Taylor and Kenny” came out of our mouths, in they walk.

I am 24-years-old. I rarely cry. Something has to deeply affect me in order for tears to come out of my face. When they walked in the door, they just welted. I wanted to let this trip just be amazing and that was one of many amazing things.

We–and when I say “we” I mean the 50+ girls who also came into New York City to meet each other–went to Sirius XM on Friday.  It was so neat to be in the place I’ve been listening to for the past five years. We were in Sirius XM’s Fishbowl, which is a giant glass room in their main area. I watched as people throughout the company walked by. We really intrigued quite a few people and I hope it shows them that Cosmo Radio is more than a “chick channel.”

I was also able to meet their producer, Stephanie, who is a recent college grad too. It was so neat to be able to watch her and the others work. And with us being there, we had such an amazing time. I could go on and on about it. But it was the three hosts along with tons of other guests walking through, plus 50-ish girls in our pink shirts–and Dinosaur BBQ (which is amazing), having fun.

The trip to Sirius XM was followed up by a visit to Rockafeller Plaza and some shopping in Times Square. (A small group of us, everyone split off, it is kind of hard to get 50 girls in the same place all the time). But that evening was going to be a special event.

Five years ago, the only reason why I started listening to Cosmo Radio was because of this guy. His name? Patrick. Oh, Patrick. He told me everything I needed to know about my relationship, friends, work, etc. And from listening to him, I then explored the channel and it basically took over my life. In a good way, of course.

Come an hour before it was time to leave to go to the party with the hosts, I was kind of freaking. I knew Patrick was anxious and quite frankly I was a little anxious for it too. All in a good way, though. After a long trip in a limo to Beauty Bar, which we ended up having to change to the W Hotel, we made it.

I was able to spend more time with the Cosmo girls, then talked to Lea, Patrick’s producer for a long time,…then I saw Patrick. My boyfriend was with me and I just poked at him and said, “There’s Patrick.” I made my way to him and gave him a hug. Lots of hugs. This was definitely a special one. All of them were, but I think what made it special was the fact that had I not stumbled on him, I wouldn’t have been there–and who knows, my life would be different.

I also spent a long time talking to “Allamonsta” and “Mafasow,” (those are their Twitters). I never expected to meet either of them, let alone talk to them both separately for so long.

Ben and I left for a bit to grab dinner because he was literally on the verge of either puking or passing out. I felt bad, but had a feeling we’d come back. We did, and I’m glad we did. More time with the girls. Got to say bye to some of the hosts, and I thought it was really neat when we said goodbye to Lea. She hugged Ben and I and thanked us both for coming, and remembered his name.

I’d been wondering what that day would have been like for a long time and words can’t really describe it.

Saturday Ben and I slept until 11 a.m. One thing we weren’t prepared for was how busy the city is, and how busy we were going to be. We spent the day together, walked around and I saw all the places like Soho and Tribecca. We ate at S’Mac, a place I’d been dying to try since I heard it on Wake Up.

That night we went to Mesa Grill with the girls. Unfortunately, my fault, I made our reservations late because I was a slacker so it was just Ben and I at the table. Our plan was to go to Times Square after dinner then meet up with everyone. I could write a blog about Times Square, so I’ll keep that. I will say, it’s mind blowing. We got back a bit later and didn’t get a chance to hang out with everyone.

Honestly, I’d been dying to go to Times Square at night the entire trip–and halfway down the strip all I could think about was getting back to the hotel and seeing the girls. It was the point of the trip. But I knew it meant a lot to Ben, and it meant a lot to me too. We we made sure to check it all out.

Now that I’m moving further from the trip, I definitely wonder about how different it would have been had he not gone. But his first words when I said I was going to New York for Cosmo Con, he smiled and said, “Sounds fun, let’s do it.” He was on board all along the way, he never had his doubts. He knew what he was in for. I still felt awful and know he probably didn’t have as good of the time as he would have liked–and I know I didn’t get to spend the time with the girls that I wanted to. At all. And I also know it can be awkward to have a guy and a girls event. So I just kept hoping and hoping it wasn’t awkward for anyone like it was sometimes in the back of my mind. He and I don’t get to travel and something just didn’t feel right not bringing him.

If there was a “worst” part of the trip, it was saying goodbye to everyone knowing they weren’t going to be where I was when I got home.

As I was leaving on Sunday, all I wanted to do was stay. It was too short. I even didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to the couple who really helped Ben and I a lot. (I didn’t get to say goodbye to many of the girls, really). As I pulled away in my car I just felt like bawling my eyes out. “It’s over.” That’s all I thought. However, the Cosmo Fam is always there. And while they weren’t going to be in Indianapolis with me when I got there, they may in fact be closer.

Mary, Christine, Anna, Caitlin, Katherine, Monica, Amy, Emily, Charity, Lisa, Faith, Melissas, Lori, the Ashleys, the Melissas, Shira, Rachel, Nancy, Fionnuala, Jen, Nicole, Whitney, Emily, Jami, Paula, Molly, Hug Kiss, Lauren, Kristen, Melissa, Sarah, Peter, Tara, Mark and anyone else I missed, it was so wonderful to meet all of you. 🙂

Since I’ve got back, it took a week to literally get my head on straight, then I’ve spent a good portion of this week playing catch-up. But it was all worth it. Every minute of it. It was everything I thought it would be and more. Until next year……

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