Just Because…

I ran into a situation the other day and I was explaining a decision someone I know is making.  I could tell the person I was talking to was astonished because the decision wouldn’t necessarily benefit them, especially long term, and asked why they would do that then proposed other things.

I know, I’m being vague here. Very very vague, which I’m doing intentionally because I don’t want to blast, I’m just giving a stripped down version.

But after this conversation happened, I just wanted to get it out there that sometimes you do things out of the kindness of your heart, or because you know somewhere, somehow, it’s the right thing to do. I think a lot of people make heavy decisions based on what’s best for them.

It makes me think though, one day you may need help or someone to pick you up. If everyone else in the world is only concerned about themselves, who will help you?

Sometimes you do things just because.

My Love for Fake Life…aka Cosmo Radio

I talk about it on Facebook, I talk about it on Twitter. I talk about it in real life, I’m a part of it in fake life.

Cosmo Radio.

People don’t get it, it’s confusing, and with an upcoming trip to NYC totally for Cosmo, I think it’s time to explain this wonderful obsession of mine that I wish the whole world had. Because if the world had Cosmo Radio, it would be a much better place.

Most of you do not have satellite radio. I got it in December 2006 as a Christmas present. Prior to that, I only listened to music but loved the morning/evening radio shows. However, it’s frustrating how little time you actually get to hear the conversation. And while people can call in, I never really remember the host connecting with specific listeners. It was just generic.

When I first turned that dial and heard a man’s voice speaking about things I was going through, I was hooked. He is Patrick and hosts Cocktails with Patrick. He turned me to the channel and I’ve been a dedicated listener ever since. There’s more than just Patrick’s show, there’s Wake Up in the morning, Cosmo Life on Thursday afternoons and the day wraps up with The Love and Sex Show w/Dr. Jenn. (There’s my free advertising for the channel, which is 109 if you have SiriusXM or I inspire you to get a free trial and at least have you venture in the world of satellite radio).

So what’s the big deal? Why am I so obsessed? It’s because I can relate. It’s talk radio, but it’s entertaining at the same time. It’s hard to explain, especially if you’re just used to regular radio. They have commercials, but they aren’t long. They can totally get into a topic for as long as they want, take calls and get everyone’s perspective. Because of this, I feel as though I handle things in a better way compared to when I wasn’t a listener.

From good situations to bad, to the awkward to the funny. It’s all there. If you read Cosmo magazine, it’s like that only over the radio and they can take conversations so much further. And for the record, many people think Cosmo is a sex magazine. It’s so much more–it’s an incredible brand who sends out a great message and I’m so glad to be even the teeny-tiniest bit of a part from reading the magazine and listening to the radio station.

I am a fun, fearless female. I practice safe sun. Thank you, Cosmo.

When Facebook fan pages and Twitter became super popular and the shows got involved with them, so did we, the listeners. I knew there were other listeners, obviously. But once there was a fan page for the morning show and Patrick’s show got a Twitter account, all of the listeners could come together. Now people call in and many times we recognize them because we’ve created this family through social media.

Sure, it might sound weird. But it’s amazing. It’s fake life. In this fake life there is no pressure, no drama, no confrontation. We’re all just a big part of the Cosmo family and I’m glad to be a part of it. You may call me crazy, I call me (and the thousands of other listeners) lucky. We’re lucky to have this, we’re lucky to have the hosts, we’re lucky to be a part of the brand and we’re just lucky to have each other.

It’s a blast, it makes me laugh. I can’t get through a day without listening. The awesome thing is, it’s not serious. Yes, they cover serious topics but the shows are so laid back and so fun. It makes the really serious days that much more powerful.

Over the years I’ve been listening to Cosmo Radio, they have inspired me to be healthier, take better care of body, evaluate and handle personal situations better and practice safe sun (aka stop tanning). Through them I’ve learned the things I wasn’t taught growing up like how to properly take care of my hair or tips for make-up and skincare. They’ve turned me to amazing products, most recently a drink called Wake Me which has truly has been a life saver.

I’ve also been able to learn more about incredible people that they’ve had in studio. And most of all, through social media have just enjoyed getting to know the hosts on a personal level and trusting them. Also, the listeners. The amazing listeners. We’re truly a part of this Cosmo fam and I’m so happy to be a part of it all.  We have our own inside jokes, vocabulary words, phrases, etc. It’s fun and I especially love the chance for girls to get inside the male mind. And in return, guys can really learn a lot about us when listening.

I can’t wait to travel to NYC and meet everyone. I hope this explains things better. I’m okay that with all the people I know, I’m the only one that “gets it.” It’s like this hidden gem. But I’m sure the listeners would agree if everyone listened, the world would be a better place. They open up reality to what it really is. It’s fake life.

Born this Way Album

I got up this morning around 10:30 a.m. (…no reason to get up earlier, I’ll take the sleep) and have been crankin’ Lady Gaga’s Born this Way album all day.

I heard some early reports saying it was overproduced. I have to disagree.

For starters, it’s Gaga. She always does everything as big as possible. She couldn’t just crank out another The Fame. All the songs are so different and unique. There’s rock, pop and country. Mix in some synthesizers, saxophones, demonic tones, lots of religious references and you’ve got one interesting album.

That’s why I like it so much. It’s so different.

With that…

I’ll dance, dance, dance 
With my hands, hands, hands, 
Above my head, head, head, 
Like Jesus said. 
I’m gonna dance, dance, dance, 
With my hands, hands, 
Hands above my head, 
Hands together, Forgive him before 
He’s dead because… 

I won’t cry for you 
I won’t crucify the things you do 
I won’t cry for you, see 
When you’re gone, I’ll still be Bloody Mary 


I just have to get what I saw today out of my head and am writing on pure emotion. But I’ll do my best (Peter Bunket) to stay away from starting sentences with conjunctions.

Last night I realized I was on three bars of gas. Which means I’ll need to fill up to make it to work, or at least till lunch. But instead, I went to Susan’s and did not feel like it at all and didn’t. I get up this morning, feeling tired and a bit rushed so I can get out the door. I was also really pissed at myself for not getting gas the night before as today’s headline news was gas jumped from the $3.70s to $4.15.

As I said goodbye to Ben, I realized I had to go in one more time to grab a jacket because I was cold. I get the jacket, drop off the newspaper in the kitchen and head out and fill my tank. (Thankfully, it was still $3.76).

It’s about 7:20 as I get on the highway, merging into traffic then waiting on a black Chevy Avalanche to get ahead of me so I can get behind him in the left lane. It’s the lane I like to be in, but have to now with the highway I take as the slow lane turns into an offramp with the construction.

I get maybe two minutes until I realize the Avalanche is completely stopped so I slam on my breaks and my car felt completely out of control as if I were on ice. But I felt very in control and even though the car whipped a bit violently left and right over and over, I was able to stop behind him with plenty of room.

I look to my left and see a deer running off the end of the other side of the highway jumping into the field.

“Oh, I’m glad he made it, can’t believe he stopped traffic,” I thought.

Then I realize there are two semi’s and a car pulled over on the other side. I look in the rearview, the car behind me is stopped to, then look to my right and my jaw just dropped.

A semi was completely overturned in the ditch. The front part was twisted and smashed face down and was just crumbled. It was so fresh I could see the smoke and heat coming up. Then I notice next to it a black SUV, a Trailblazer I think, which was smashed up against the fence with little room for them to move.

It was bad. It was so bad. My body went numb and my jaw litterally dropped. Sometimes people do that just to do it, but I had no control over myself–I was in shock with what I saw.

But people are amazing and as I sat there in a weird immobile state, I watched as people pulled over and ran out of their cars to get to the people in the accident. I got out my phone to text my boss because I didn’t think I could get through and in my head knew I was going to get out of the car and see what I could do to help.

Then a few cars made it out and I realized I could get through. I sat there for a minute or two trying to absorb this horrific accident I had seen, knowing it had literally just happened while I was pumping my gas. Then I drove away. What could I do? Nothing. I have no medical experience. There was nothing I could do other than be in the way, not be a witness because I had only seen it after it occurred and possible see dead people. While a few hours later, I know in my head driving away was okay. But this morning I felt awful as those wonderful people stopped and ran to rescue them.

It was eerie as there was maybe one car behind me as it’s typically a heavily traveled highway. Once I got to the downtown split, about 15 minutes later, my aunt called. It’s a new phone, I couldn’t figure out how to answer but called her back.

“…are you okay?” she asks, as if she knew I was a complete numb mess in my head.

“Yeah,” I mumble then burst into tears. I never, ever cry. Sometimes I feel like I’m a terrible person because I don’t cry. And the emotions took over me knowing I may have witnessed at least two people dead. Ugh, gives me chills. I had to take a minute to compose myself, feeling like an idiot for crying because I am fine.

I am fine. This has absolutely nothing to do with me, it has to do with the people that just had their lives changed.

She said, “I’m just glad it wasn’t you, I’m sad for them, and glad you’re okay.”

But it wasn’t supposed to be me, and it’s scary it was to happen to them. It couldn’t be me because I felt lazy last night, didn’t get gas, walked out a few minutes late today because I needed to get my jacket and get gas. And not just a few bucks like I do on mornings like this, but actually waiting to fill my tank. I thought about that this morning and it wasn’t me. I was scared for them. Perhaps it was fate but I don’t want to get deep. At all. That’s not where I’m going. It’s scary when you think about it.

It was just natural. Two deer jumped over a fence, because they’re just animals causing the Trailblazer to hit one of the deer (so the one I saw made it across) and then it caused the semi to wreck too.

It was awful. But the good ending to the story is according to the news all people involved are alive and no life threatening injuries. That’s incredible. It was so bad.  And as a writer, journalist, whatever I am, had that been me going to the scene to cover it, I could keep myself totally composed. But something you aren’t expecting that is so raw and so real just really throws you off. I didn’t even think of staying to give information. I just had to go. Which was probably best because I can’t help save their lives.

But at least they are okay, I hope. Here’s a link to what happened.

It’s an odd start to the day and really just puts everything in perspective.

Thanks for listening.